Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Just Starting Out.

I've never really had a blog before; I've had plenty of notebooks that I've written my thoughts in and vented profusely, but never posted them for the world to see. Theres something comforting yet unnerving about that; having all of my feelings on display is cathartic for the reason that I get to let it all out, and not keep it bottled up inside like I normally do, yet I don't want to be judged for my thoughts and opinions.

I guess we'll see how it goes. :)

I think this blog will be a collection of me sharing things I find that I think are cool, and have no one else to share them with and me venting about something/someone. I predict the latter to be the more common. :)

Just as a background- if people are reading this that don't really know me- I'll tell you a little bit about myself.

I am Rochelle. Pretty basic. I am 20 years old, 21 in March. I live in North Carolina, and I've lived here for a little over a year. I lived in Connecticut for the first 19. I have 4 half sisters, only 3 of them I grew up with.  I have a mother and a father; the mother role is up for election this year. I miss my dad very much. After my parents split up, he moved back to Rhode Island and we stayed in Connecticut until we moved to North Carolina.

Moving on. I go to High Point University, and I am a second semester Sophomore.  I did quite poorly in high school, didn't get into HPU on my first application, went to community college for a semester and transferred in.  I am a double major in Voice Performance and Theater Performance, and I wouldn't change the people in the department or my choice of career for anything in the world.  I was an Interior Design major for a semester, and I hated it. Which is unfortunate because I love architecture and drafting and design.  Switching majors was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. With music and theater, after I graduate from High Point, I want to go into Musical Theater.  I have a lot of ideas between New York, Boston, Providence and even Scotland.  I DO want to go to graduate school, and there are schools at each of these locations I would be honored to attend for my Masters.

The ultimate goal is Broadway.  I came to this decision when I switched majors. One of my cousins, is a musician.  He was accepted into Berklee School of Music, and left halfway through his first semester for a record deal of sorts.  He is doing very well, having so far appeared on TV, and as the singer of the theme song for the TV game show "Minute to Win it." (Be jealous). He has worked with people such as Kara Dioguardi, and Blake Lewis (runner-up to Jordan Sparks in American Idol).  Now I'm just bragging about him.. The point is, he is very successful in his choice of career and is only a year older than I am.  I was CONSTANTLY hearing about how well he was doing, and how proud the family is of him and I was jealous.  As an Interior Design major, you don't get too much claim-to-fame or family bragging rights.

So logically, the only choice was to pursue the irrational dream of being on Broadway.  I honestly, have a lot of confidence in the fact that I will make it to Broadway. Someday. I feel that I have made a lot of friends and know enough people that I can catch a break.  My goal is not to be the lead in a hit Broadway musical. However, that wouldn't be too shabby. :)  I am simply setting the goal of being able to walk out onto a Broadway stage and perform.

Anyway.. This had always been a dream of mine, but I never took it seriously, I always was more practical and looked at things realistically.  When I decided that I wanted to switch majors, I was trying to think of what to get into.  I thought to myself, what have I always seen people do or be involved with and said to myself, "I wish I could do that" or "That seems like it would be a lot of fun." So, I switched to Music.  Later on, I added Theater.  I have ALWAYS loved to sing; whether I told people or not.  I decided to stop being afraid of being laughed at or judged and I took myself and my music career seriously, and it has been the best decision of my life. I have had so many once-in-a-lifetime opportunities available to me, and so many good things come out of it, that I can't help believe that it was meant to be.

I am a VERY optimistic person. To the point where I can be delusional about things sometimes.  I can convince myself that things are going well, when I am missing the facts and things that are right in front of my eyes.  This goes along with relationships too.

I have NEVER, with the exception of once, had any luck with relationships.  Sure, there have been guys that I've dated for a while; a few weeks or months at best.  But never anything really serious.  Only once, have I had a serious relationship. His name was Michael and so far, he was the love of my life.  I had every intention and belief that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.  I could talk for hours about our relationship. But maybe another day.  Needless to say, the relationship ended. I was 18.  I met Michael when I was 16 at my job, and I had a crush on him for nearly 2 years before we started dating and we dated for a year and half and then he broke it off.  Again, I could discuss this forever, but I'll save it for another time.  Seeing as how I didn't really have to try with Michael, getting back in the game has been nearly impossible.  I have not had a single, even one week, boyfriend since we broke up and its starting to get annoying.  I have tried everything and nothing seems to be working. Every time I start to like a guy, they don't feel the same way, or they just want to be friends.

However, it seems that my luck is changing.  It just so happens that I have met someone that I go to school with and I am starting to like this person quite a bit.  We have been talking and hanging out some, and I have been ULTRA careful not to mess anything up, and I think its working :)  It feels really nice to meet someone and possibly be able to spend time with someone that truly likes me and wants to spend time with me too.  We shall see how things go! Don't worry, I will post a lot more about him.

So this turned out to be significantly longer than I had anticipated, and turned out to be just what I thought it would; me ranting and raving and venting about one thing or another. :)  I doubt people will read the whole thing, but if you do, I apologize I am not more entertaining.  I will hopefully come up with some more interesting ideas for blogs, and post some really cool things that I want people to know about.  Thanks for reading if you did.  If theres anything you would LIKE me to post about, let me know and I would be happy to oblige :)

Bon soir!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks to the lovely Annie Green and spectacular Amanda Mayes for the pictures. There are some grammatical errors, leave me alone. Feed my fish please! :)